Lizards

A lizard fell on me today. Literally from the heavens.
Now, you have to understand, I have nothing against these reptiles. I mean, c’mon, we all have to peacefully coexist somehow. I’d just rather they coexist quietly, kind of.. invisibly. (In all fairness, the lizard was quiet as a mouse, or a lizard. I was the one making all the noises.) The thing is, house lizards, or for that matter any kind of lizards, just freak me out. I’ve got lizardophobia. So I guess then it would make sense for kismet to think, “hmm.. know what would be fun…” and thus we have today’s episode.
And kismet picked out a nice fellow too… he (or she.. I honestly don’t know how to tell them apart) was a fine lizard, white as marble, and after I had screamed my head off and kicked it off my leg, he stood there, tail high up in the air and looking at me, challenging me for a rematch. Of course, he scurried away after a few tense moments. And a good thing at that.. a few more moments and I would have been the one scurrying off, and then spending the rest of my life with a broken self esteem.

Now people tell me a lizard falling on you is supposed to mean good luck. That’s like, such an antithesis in itself. Didn’t seem like good luck to me when it fell on my head. Just makes it seem like good luck when I reach the elevator next time and I’m still lizard free. Depends on how you look at it.

Anyhow, good luck or not, I’d like to tell lizards that I respect their slimy existence, but really, pick on someone your own size. I am not a bungee tower.