Its just a thought, only a thought.

Ok, so I’ve never been a revolutionary. I’ve never had problems with rules or wanted to rebel. (Well, don’t ask my parents.) I’ve never been angry at the world. At one point or the other, I’ve been angry at subsections of it… What am I getting at? I don’t know. Maybe that’s the whole point.

I’ve never had an epiphany about what life is like or about. Does that mean I don’t know? I don’t have intelligent ideas on what I believe in, or don’t. And neither do I have a problem with that. I live every day, as it comes. Without expectations. Not to say that I don’t think. Oh I have opinions, but they are not from over analyzing things and trying to make sense of them. They are just because of how and what I have come across in my life so far. If someone asked me if I ever wanted to get married, I would say, “It depends.” And they would have a hard time believing that I am not being diplomatic. Besides, I think a lot more than I say. Or so I would like to believe! ;) I still delight in what is ordinary about me, and the little bit of not-so-ordinary.

I am full of contradictions, but I’m comfortable with them. In fact, it’s one of the things I love about myself! Can a feminist like pink? AM I even a feminist? It depends. Are you lifting my suitcase because you thought you could do it, or you thought I couldn’t? Am I just who I am, or am I just still trying to create a comprehensible stream of ideas from all that I know? And if I myself don’t know who I am, then how would others?

All I can tell you is, don’t believe in looks and a half hour of talk. Don’t even go by the bits of insight I offer about me. I’m often misleading. Because you see, it seems I have no clue!

(This is what happens when you hang around people who think so clearly and get you stumped because their E/IQ is a hundred more than yours. Dang it! )

Life, Love, and me

What did you do
broke me to pieces,
then picked up each one
and gave them your kisses.
How did you see
what the future held for me?
knowing I would fall
wouldn't they let me be?
They found me all broken,
they gave me your kiss.
She wound me all up
in her love and embrace.

Now you throw me one more
now you show me some more
what would you do next?
let your powers rest.
Play with my mind
play with my heart.
Break me to peices,
tear me apart.
Test me my love,
test me my faith,
test me my person
show me the way.

Let me give them your kiss
let me find them a bay
let me wind them all up
in your love and embrace.
Its time for the broken
by the same token
to mend the parts stolen
from another mistake.

Your games I would play
your risks I would take
that I would find myself broken
in pieces again.

On request by 'anonymous' :-D

My relatives know it as the “Euphoria night”. There was nothing very euphoric about it, except that we attended a Euphoria concert. But the reason it’s so infamous has nothing to do with Palash Sen.
Let me explain. We had our college fest going on. My friend came to pick me up in her car. We both were dressed up for the occasion, me in a slinky halter, and she in a shirt with a window on the back. :-p

Now two minutes after we left home, we had our car’s bumper scraped off by a truck. It would have been fine, (we were fine, and the car was only slightly damaged) except that we had both very smartly forgotten to carry our jackets! So the poor girl got off, and was arguing with the driver while a dozen people gathered to watch the spectacle, while I was quietly sitting in the car, trying to think of some way to help.

Thankfully my parents came quickly, Mom carrying a jacket I had to ask her to get! Of course my friend had also called her mother, and her brother and he brought along a couple of friends, who had come for moral support it seemed. But by that time everything was under control. I was thankfully covered up, and when the commotion ended, we went off to see the concert. Which was loads of fun of course, but slightly overshadowed by our experience of the evening.

We learnt some very valuable lessons that night, the hard way. Never try to overtake a truck from the left, and always carry a jacket when wearing backless clothes. *blush

omg, for the first time i tried to organize a trip. So many problems, i lost count. So i decided to write them down. So many problems with the girrrls, so many with the guys. (Mostly with girls, sorry to say)

1. Parents-
1a. No permission if its too far
1b. No permission if its for too many days.
1c. No permission if its all girls (not safe)
1d. No permission if there are any boys (not safe)
1e. No permission for trains ( how will you carry all your stuff AND find a taxi AND reach on time?) (This one actually left me speechless)
1f. No permission if any "kids" are driving (so unsafe)
1g. No permission if its too isolated.
1h. No permission if its too crowded.

2. Budget.

3. Place. Oh god, the place. Till the night before we are supposed to leave, we don't know where we're going. Some people have a problem because its too far, they have to get back on time (make that 1i), people just can't agree on a place!

4. How to get there. Cab..? Who'll arrange it..? It should be someone we can trust. It should be someone who won't squeal all.

5. Place.

6. What to do once we get to the place.

For heaven's sake, I just wanted to get out.

Asmi

I am me, without you
I am a mind of my own,
On my own
I am a thought, uninduced
Not influenced by sage or fool

I am the wisdom to know
I am the courage to ask
I am the strength in my bones
it takes to find my own path.

I am the wish to acquiesce
I am the will to resist
I am the desire to love, and be loved
I am the whim to loudly sing.

I am not the rainbow, above the clouds
For I am but one in a crowd.
But I am whole,
And I am me,
Because I am free.