Crowded

An empty room
A vase, a plant
Is it real? Is it not?
Some pillows, some books
An obituary.
A past, Some dreams,
A scenery.
A clock that goes tick tock tick tock.
Horses and dogs that would
come alive if she turned around.

A sunlit scene,
a girl curled up in a chair.
Afraid of her thoughts
that sound louder than she would dare
in the profound silence
she hadn't noticed till now.

Tassels and lamps
and flowers of thread,
drenched in the warmth
of an afternoon sun.
Filled with stories of unknown ones,
The empty room.

Its just a thought, only a thought.

Ok, so I’ve never been a revolutionary. I’ve never had problems with rules or wanted to rebel. (Well, don’t ask my parents.) I’ve never been angry at the world. At one point or the other, I’ve been angry at subsections of it… What am I getting at? I don’t know. Maybe that’s the whole point.

I’ve never had an epiphany about what life is like or about. Does that mean I don’t know? I don’t have intelligent ideas on what I believe in, or don’t. And neither do I have a problem with that. I live every day, as it comes. Without expectations. Not to say that I don’t think. Oh I have opinions, but they are not from over analyzing things and trying to make sense of them. They are just because of how and what I have come across in my life so far. If someone asked me if I ever wanted to get married, I would say, “It depends.” And they would have a hard time believing that I am not being diplomatic. Besides, I think a lot more than I say. Or so I would like to believe! ;) I still delight in what is ordinary about me, and the little bit of not-so-ordinary.

I am full of contradictions, but I’m comfortable with them. In fact, it’s one of the things I love about myself! Can a feminist like pink? AM I even a feminist? It depends. Are you lifting my suitcase because you thought you could do it, or you thought I couldn’t? Am I just who I am, or am I just still trying to create a comprehensible stream of ideas from all that I know? And if I myself don’t know who I am, then how would others?

All I can tell you is, don’t believe in looks and a half hour of talk. Don’t even go by the bits of insight I offer about me. I’m often misleading. Because you see, it seems I have no clue!

(This is what happens when you hang around people who think so clearly and get you stumped because their E/IQ is a hundred more than yours. Dang it! )