We liked it. And then we put a ring on it.
OK, I’m telling you up front, this is a rant. Later on, when your ears are burning and outrage is pouring out from every orifice of your body, don’t say I didn’t warn you. In fact if you're single, maybe just stop reading right here and try filing your nails, it might be a better use of your time. And then you can teach me how to do it, yes?
Anyway. Today being April fool’s day, I wasn’t surprised to come across one of those supposedly funny ecards saying, “All those who are happily unmarried, today is not your day. But to everyone else, we wish a very happy ALL FOOL’S DAY.”
Ha ha, ok. I exhaled through my nose a bit more forcefully than usual. Next came this little nugget from Happily Unmarried – “Establishment is boring, it is regular, predictable, safe, comforting and 9 am to 5 pm. Don't endorse it. Be the black sheep, the square peg in the round hole. Change jobs, experiment, travel, get out of your comfort zone, push others, protest against wrong policies, disagree, be vocal, fall in love, occasionally dress unlike yourself, like yourself, don't like everything on FB, stay single as long as you want to. Be outdoors, question authority. Believe that you are the future and no one can stop you.”
Now, I really like Happily Unmarried. They are witty and creative. And while I love the thought, it irks me that this is meant for the “happily unmarried”. Why, in the name of Dr. Phil’s shiny bald head, do happily married people get ostracized and left out from all this distribution of wisdom? When a single person can upload constant #updates of their whereabouts, and 150 pictures of their trip to Goa, why can’t a married couple post 300 pictures of their corny honeymoon, without the singletons rolling their eyes at them? Why this discrimination on the basis of marital status? I feel like just to live up to these expectations, I should buy a SUV and start hosting kitty parties at home. And god forbid that I flaunt my happiness in the face of my single friends. The implication is that now that one is married, one’s life is secure and bland. My wedding was eight months ago and I have probably spent less than 30 of those days with my husband. Whoever says married life is easy and predictable – live my life for a month, why don’t you, and then we’ll talk. Here's a reality check - NOBODY'S life is easy or fair. Apparently once you are married, you can no longer aim to be different, or fall in love, or experiment. What? Oh right, now that I am wed my focus must be to produce offspring and fatten up my spouse with suji ka halwa dripping with ghee. Why would I want to learn something new?
So this is my shout-out to all my friends who are married – Be proud that you are with the person you love. Make new friends, take dance lessons and educate yourself on current affairs. Take a vacation with your partner to some place you would never go alone, and pick up a hobby you can learn by yourself, sans spouse. Be married as long as you want to be.
And to all my friends who are unmarried and proud of it – Good for you! I am glad that you are enjoying your life and reminding everyone else that you are doing so. But please, please invite me to your wedding – I absolutely love weddings.