ctrl-alt-del (part II)

Three easy steps to throw that useless other half out of your system! Refresh your life!

1. Ctrl – Take charge. Realize that you are in control of your life, your decisions, and your heart. Take control.

2. Alt - Alter your mindset. Alter your lifestyle. Alter everything that you know makes your heart skip a beat. Use step 1 while implementing rule 2. For example, when you get a whiff of that perfume you know so well, stop breathing. (You could just walk away, but the first is more entertaining for those around you.)

3. Del – Delete the bastard(s) from your life. Del everything that reminds you of them. Del, del, del. Throw it in the garbage, burn it, donate it. Never buy anything that would make you relapse to your previous lifestyle.

These three simple, easy to follow rules will help you be happier, look sexier and get back to your life. Do what you’ve been trying to do for months, or maybe even years – avoid that heartburn. Give your heart a rest. Follow the cntrl-alt-del steps, and shed those extra pounds!

ctrl-alt-del (part I)

To fight to the finish,
Was what I had planned for ages,
But helplessness,
In my mind and my soul,
Oh the deliciousness
Of letting myself go
Is tempting, is beckoning
But helplessness
Is such a sad state to be in
The helplessness
Would engulf my whole existence
Till I can’t find air to breathe in.
How easy it would be
To roll in self pity
To know this is the end,
Of consciousness.
But helplessness
Is something I can live without
And when I do
I find I’m free
I’m in control
I’m happy
The laughter seems a new
part of my reality,
I got you out of my mind
Out of my sight, out of my soul.
I’m free, wheeeeeee!
To live without a heart tied down
To a string tied down
To a stone
At the bottom of the sea.

Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

It was a Monday, and a rainy one at that. I don't remember the date, just that, because years afterward, the song “Rainy days and Mondays” (you remember how we both liked the Carpenters, and Abba?) reminds me of that day. Or maybe it’s the other way around. Yes, it’s the other way around.

“No need to talk it out, we know what it’s all about”

And that’s what you did. So I talked it out with myself. Rationalized, negotiated, and then finally understood and accepted what had been the reality for you months and months before. It’s all good now, it doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t even matter. It doesn’t.

I’ll never forget the ride home that day. Till that day, I had been spoiled, pampered, driven all the way back home. That day, I wanted to take a bus, and you didn’t mind. You dropped me off at the bus stop, and it was raining. I wonder if you knew that I hate being in the rain. You drove off, and I found myself tearing up. I don’t know if the lady next to me noticed the soft tears flowing, or that I spent half an hour trying to write exactly how I felt, in a text message. I wonder if you kept it.

There is so much that I can write, so much that I still remember. What I wore, what you said, how you said it, what you meant. It doesn't matter though, it was years ago, and I don’t miss you. Another friend’s story, of heartache, of walking away and not looking back, brought back memories, it seems of so long ago. That rainy Monday, I don’t know which one of us walked away, but I found my way back. I found my way home.

To-morrow

I can't sleep, can't sleep,
oh give me a break.
I need to work, I need to sweep
some little white mice off their feet
tomorrow morning, bright and early.
oh, it makes me grumbly,
to hear the clock ticking,
tick tock, constantly.
Now wouldn't it be swell,
if they stopped ticking as well
and pretended like I do,
like I don't need to work
and I don't need to worry,
like I won't be sorry,
when I ignore the bells ringing in my ear
and get up when afternoon is near.
No, I must rest, I must be prepared
for another day, a future bared.
one more bowl of cereal,
one more dash for the bus,
another search for missing keys.
another day, another clock.
nah, don't feel sorry for me,
its not as bad as I make it look. :)

Sometimes..

I'm trying to sleep and I can't. I'm not restless, but when I close my eyes, I can see, rather I can feel in my chest, a vast empty space, a big field or a meadow, with nothing but a big tree in the centre. The emptiness of it presses down on me, intimidates me. There is no wind, no breath, just a stifling rareness in the air. Then I imagine water filling up the field. Even though I can't see any walls or boundaries, the water rises, and fills it up. Now the water touches the lowest branches of the tree till it looks like it is gasping for air. And like this it will stand.. just like this, gasping for air, till you decide to pull the plug and let the water drain away...